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Conflict is a disagreement between two persons / parties who disrupt the lives of people involved in the conflict with a view to achieving one goal. Conflict may be a dispute, a tension , or the emergence of other difficulties between the two parties. Communication as a medium of interaction among people in conflict can easily become the basis of conflict.
conflicts can occur due to differences in meaning caused by differences in experience .
The difference in experience can be seen from the different cultural backgrounds that shape different personalities . In any organization / company, disagreements are often deliberate or made as one of the leaders’ strategies to make changes. The change can be done by creating a conflict . Will believe conflict also could hurt in natural care is an objective condition which may consider . As with all areas of communication, we can improve if we have the background knowledge to identify relevant communication phenomena and the motivation to reflect on and enhance our communication skills. Interpersonal conflict occurs when a person or group of people frustrates or interferes with another person’s efforts at achieving a goal. According to some researchers, conflict can consist of three different components.The behavioral component of conflict involves someone interfering with the objectives of another person. For example, a co-worker and you may be competing in a sales contest, and he constantly bugs you during your sales calls to trip up your sales pitch. He also throws away message slips from your potential customers that the receptionist leaves when you’re away from your desk.The cognitive component involves a disagreement between the parties that illustrates the differences between the interests and objectives of the conflicting parties. For example, as the vice president of research and development, you may have a disagreement with the vice president of production over the allocation of company resources because you each have different goals and objectives that relate to your particular division.The affective component relates to the negative emotional states of the conflicting parties. For example, conflict with a co-worker may make you feel anger, stressed, and frustrated.

Firstly , you have to know about yourself . It is important for you to determination about yourself and how you are likely to affect the group dynamic. Ask yourself , Do you talk much and do you listen to the other person , are you being impatient having to listen to another person ? are you empathetic to others or do you care mostly about getting the task done ? When others person start to give a talk , are you really listening to what they say, or are you already start to think about what are you going to talk after that . Are you easily become an anger ? Are you being a defensive person or just accepting what other person talk about your behaviour ? What makes you easily get annoyed ? What makes you feel really good ? You will find your strenghts after you define yourself and you will know what you need to improve . Perceive yourself in the community because that will be a good start for you .
After getting to know about yourself , you will have to know about the other person in the group . This process will slowly make you getting to know each other because the more changes happen in the group , the bigger it gets its will takes a longer time .It is not easy to trust someone that we don’t even know but we have to trust them because the community need it . Some of the group doesn’t even think that relationship is important , they be more concern about the bussines than this . To make this thing goes easily , the group should make a social activities as a part of business, such as a social gatherings . Each person in the group have to share about their life , where they grew up , important things in their life , people that their admire . Another way is to write up biographies of each other, one member interviewing another and then keeping these in a notebook for future members to read and add to. Go out for a weekend retreat and spend time talking and learning about one another. This will make the group member know each other well .
Next is ,working with personality style conflicts . One of the most common sources of conflict and angst in all types of intentional communities is the friction between the “doers and the talkers”. This dichotomy between task and process is very common and is often a source of conflict and frustration in community.A healthy community has a balance between task and process. Think of task and process like the wings of a bird. If one wing is shorter than the other, the bird flies around in circles. If there is mostly task and little process, the friction’s between people will erupt into communication problems and the resulting conflicts keep tasks from moving forward. Conversely, too much process, and everybody spends much of their time in feelings meetings and the tasks that need doing languish. However, when task and process are balanced, both wings are working at maximum efficiency to carry the community in the direction it wants to go. You need process to determine the direction to go and how to work together, you need task orientation to accomplish all the jobs needed.It will effect your attitudes about other people who work with you by the way how you approach to the group work .

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The task oriented vs. the process oriented person

A task oriented person is a person who gets great pleasure in getting results. They create prioritized, bulleted to do lists and then check off items accomplished. They are often fact and results driven, and want the bottom line clearly defined. They often want details organized, and they tend to know exactly where things are. So conversely, they are uncomfortable with ambiguity and get annoyed by discussions that are not related to tasks at hand. They have little patience for digressions. In extreme cases, if you ask them how they feel about an issue, they will minimize it, and be annoyed by the fact that you asked them for their feelings not the facts.
A process oriented person is one who gets pleasure from working with people. They want to make people feel good about what is happening, and they see the world in terms of relationships. They tend to not be interested so much in facts as the consequences of the facts and may also be disorganized, easily loosing place of the current discussion thread. They may care more about getting out peoples feelings than worrying about details or results. They tend to be very comfortable with ambiguity and tend to get annoyed by bulleted prioritized task lists and serial sequencing. If you ask them for the facts, they tend to want to move into relationships and concepts instead and may become annoyed that you asked them for the facts rather than their feelings.Now, both the descriptions above are huge oversimplifications of the enormously complex arena of personality types, but it illustrates the differences and sets up the idea that both styles look at group endeavors with very different perspectives. Both perspectives are equally valid. Let me repeat that: Both perspectives are equally valid.The key element to understand is that neither the task nor process orientated person is right, they simply are differences in orientation to working in the group. Both styles (and all the others that exist) need to be recognized, celebrated and then worked with as the group dynamic unfolds. Ideally your group has a good mixture of styles, and although this can seem chaotic, it is actually a very good thing, much better than if you were all one style or another. Both task and process styles really do benefit the group as long as you learn what the other needs.

So let’s look at a couple sample conflicts involving the two styles and how they can end up. The meeting agenda for xyz cohousing has several issues on it and the first issue is about a process issue. The discussion goes on and on about how people feel about a particular issue and Task Oriented Mary is getting more and more frustrated. Finally she blows up at the facilitator for wasting so much of the meeting time on this one discussion about feelings. She stomps out of the room in a huff. Another day, another group meeting. This time the agenda item is full of numbers and lists and complex papers about some development aspect. The meeting goes on and the task oriented people are making to do lists and trivializing or putting down peoples issues because “We need to get things done”. Process Oriented Mary is detached and uninvolved. Although she has opinions, she is feeling alienated by the whole depersonalization of the issues. At the break she leaves. Nobody notices at first, and then they shrug it off maybe with relief, that they can “get things done now”. One of the best ways for style angst to be worked out in a meeting is for the individuals to be allowed to state what they are feeling and what they want. For example, in the problem with Task-Oriented Mary, she could have asked the group for help by saying something like: “As a task oriented person, the 35 minutes of discussion here with no real summary or end point in site is making me frustrated. Can we move to the proposal stage soon, or may I be excused until you finish your discussion?” By clearly stating her frustrations, and proposing two solutions, she has made the group aware of her needs and the group then has choices to work with. Some larger groups use a system of colored cards where different colors represent different types of input. In most systems, there is a color for process and so when the meeting is not working, it can be changed by input from the individuals it’s not working for. In extreme cases, task oriented people will have difficulty asking for what they want and the facilitator needs to watch for angst from the task oriented people and then intervene on their behalf.

Recognizing your personality style and the needs and limitations it places you under is a key step in understanding how to work with a group. Both task and process styles have important contributions to make and you have to be patient and recognize the value of styles that are different from yours. You will be annoyed with your style opposite sometimes, so use that annoyance constructively to make changes in the process that benefit the group.

If you are a task oriented person, you can help the group get organized and working on results. Your skills at seeing the bottom line can help the group when you summarize information, add facts, or urge the group towards concrete proposals.

If you are a process oriented person you offer the skills of building relationships and understandings so that proposals can be made that get accepted and implemented with a high degree of spirit. You can work to keep the morale of the group high by offering personal support and acknowledgment of peoples work.

Groups often go through cycles where task or process gets emphasis in the groups activities. There may be a period where you make many decisions, hard and fast, and work with lots of information, get lots of details accomplished and then get somewhat paralyzed by what may seem to be a minor side issue. The group then focuses on process work, working through the issue, hearing emotional side issues, talking with each other and building up communication bridges and processes.

Over time, most experienced and successful groups learn to balance the task and process parts of their activities so each works to complement the other. As meeting skills grow in the group, the facilitator can capture emotional issues that get raised as part of a task agenda and skillfully roll them into the task processing so the end result is the optimum for everyone. When you can balance both the task wing and the process wing so they work together, your group will fly as high as it can go.

Sharing feelings
There can be undercurrents of bad feelings which don’t get talked about. One technique that can bring this out is to do a feeling circle, in which everyone in the group expresses how they are feeling.

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